Sex On The Bread

Spice up your time in quarantine with something other than the batteries beside your bed. 

This post is in partnership with COVID-19, but all thoughts and opinions are unfortunately my own!

Hi! Here’s is my Sex On The Bread recipe, along with an unnecessarily long anecdote that I share in search of validation that will supposedly make my life more meaningful. 

After all, how else will I get everyone to believe I don’t regret having pity sex with my husband because I had been pretending to have my period for the 14th week in a row, therefore having a child who I’m not totally sure is worth the return on investment.

But hey, at least I can exploit the kid for pictures with brands that my fellow mothers who consider murder at least 3 times a day will go gaga for.

With the weather getting warmer and the economy bleaker than ever, it’s times like these when I turn to my favorite passage for creative guidance, both in and out of the kitchen,

Seuss:12

One fish, Two fish, Red fish, Blue fish,

Black fish, Blue fish, Old fish, New fish.

This one has a littlecar.

This one has a little star.

Say! What a lot of fish there are.

Yes. Some are red, and some are blue.

Some are old and some are new.

Some are sad, and some are glad,

And some are very, very bad.

Why are they sad and glad and bad?

I do not know, go ask your dad.

Some are thin, and some are fat.

The fat one has a yellow hat.

From there to here,

From here to there,

Funny things are everywhere.

Here are some who like to run.

They run for fun in the hot, hot sun.

Oh me! Oh my! Oh me! oh my!

What a lot of funny things go by.

Some have two feet and some have four.

Some have six feet and some have more.

Where do they come from? I can't say.

But I bet they have come a long, long way.

we see them come, we see them go.

Some are fast. Some are slow.

Some are high. Some are low.

Not one of them is like another.

Don't ask us why, go ask your mother.

Is it relevant to the recipe? No. But does my husband listen to me? Also no. You’re the only people I can share my innermost thoughts with, so long as I hold what you consider most near and dear to your heart, hostage. 

Anyhoo, since I usually cook for one, I wrote down what I used for one serving. You’ll have leftover beans and prob corn salsa, but everything else you can make a la carte, or in abundance to assemble this quickly for another meal. To make this for two people, just add an extra pita slice/tortilla, chorizo, and egg, so that it’s all one per person. As far as how much seasoning to use: eye it, but remember that you can always add, not take away. Try two firm shakes of things to start, and if you don’t know, taste! I like to err on the side of lather me in seasoning.

Also. Most ingredients are optional. I just happened to have these things. One thing I did not have was cilantro, which many recipes I perused to give me a general idea of things said to use. Oh well, it was still bomb. Feel free to add to the garnish, or something like the corn salsa.